Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
