She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
