if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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