I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
