do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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