yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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