last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
He passed out mid-signature
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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