I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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