Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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