I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize