the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
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