Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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