Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
