I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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