Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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