if i can run in heels then i can drive
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
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