I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
