whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
We just shotgunned beers for America
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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