we have officially lost it.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
