drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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