I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
