Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
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