idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
