you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
