hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
