38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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