That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
did i just pee glitter
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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