God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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