youre lurking in front of me
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
50% drunk capacity currently
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
