you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
