I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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