God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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