how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
