so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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