Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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