And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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