you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
