I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize