you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
