if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I wear drunk well.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
