I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Are my feet made of real feet?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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