it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
