i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
