sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
