I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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