So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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