maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
