I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
