Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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