This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
