we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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