There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
