I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
