It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
