yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
