So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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