White coat. Heels.
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize