I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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