bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
