I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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