I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
