My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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