He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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