my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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