I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Damn victory sex feels great
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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